Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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