is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
