I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
As shirtless as possible
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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