What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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