How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize