He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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