...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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