I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize