Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
