"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
