you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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