I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
