I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
