Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
