I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
