from now on my penis is your penis
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
