GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
