is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
