NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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