Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
