i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
