He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
