Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A bitchslap is in order.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
