She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize