i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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