is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
