No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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