He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize