Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
