Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
