Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
