I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
