I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
