have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
