There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
