It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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