I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
