what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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