Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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