alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize