just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize