a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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