just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
