I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
