Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
