# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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