right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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