kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
