Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
