Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize