real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize