im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
