You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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