I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
