I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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