So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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