whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize