I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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