That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
