Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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