It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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