I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
