Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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