ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
