Plan B is the new Plan A
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
