Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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