While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
