You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
