I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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