Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
