Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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