lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
