Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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