i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She needs sedatives and a leash
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
